THE MISTAKES

THE NEW GIRL WHO CAME IN.....

CHAPTER-3

The very first thing that we should follow in every relationship is honesty. We should say what we genuinely feel and we should be able to convey our feelings to the other side on the right time, using the right words. In short, we should not act in a relationship like in a play or a scripted drama.

On that night, Harry and Jane breached these conditions, on realizing the fact that he might loose her friendship forever and due to his obsession towards her, he lied her that, he has no feelings for her and she just misunderstood his care and friendship. At first she was not convinced by his words. But gradually when their conversation went on Harry was successful in convincing her that he considers her just as a friend only. And at last she agreed to remain as friends. 

From where I see things, I believe that there were two options for Harry, either he could have stopped begging for her friendship or he could have told his true feelings for her. But he didn't do any of these,and he preferred to take the burden of a one sided love and act like a film hero and wait for her to return his feelings. Actually the feelings which we never convey are like big weights on our wings. It will always withdraw us from flying high. So for our welfare, we have to convey our feelings or if we know that there is no use in conveying that feelings,then we should learn to kill such feelings.This was Harry's mistake that he never conveyed his true feelings and he never tried to kill that feeling instead, he allowed that feeling to grow.

And again taking you back to that night conversation between Harry and Jane. They again spoke for hours, cracking jokes and discussing about various things. Actually they forgot that before hours, one among them was decided to cut off their friendship and the other was convincing her not to. By the end of the conversation Jane said,

"Harry, please don't misunderstand me, this has no other meanings but "I LOVE YOU".

Harry went on cloud nine, he felt like the happiest person on earth. But he never expressed his real feeling and he said her that he understood everything and hung up the call after several minutes.

And again I would say that, if Jane had a doubt about Harry's feelings for her and she is not ready for such a kind of relationship with him. She should have kept a distance from Harry at least for some days. But the fact was that she too wanted his friendship for her moral support. And she should never have used the I LOVE YOU phrase at that time. When we say something we should know that the audience also understands what we mean. We should use only apt words in places, the words which might create confusion should be avoided. And again if we have suspicion on someone's behavior and we took a decision to test them or keep distance with them. We should not let them know about our thoughts in first place and we should not back out from the plan unless we are convinced about the truths. Here Jane made several mistakes. She conveyed her suspicion with Harry and she gave him whole idea about her thoughts by blocking his messages and calls. And the bigger mistake was that she called him the same night and got convinced by his words and she said I LOVE YOU with a condition, not to misunderstand that phrase that she used. As I said before, we should not use words which could be misinterpreted in our conversation. Here, her immediate conviction on the words of Harry and her I LOVE YOU gave Harry a false hope. And the immediate disclosing of her insecurity about his friendship and then immediate backing off from her plan to distance herself from Harry was a bad idea.  

But here, we are not in a court and I am not a Judge, and neither do I believe in convicting any of them.We all are humans, we have emotions and most of the time we act on the push of our emotions. We do have to think rationally and not emotionally. Its is easy to say and hard to execute. Here when I conclude this I should say that both of them acted emotionally. Harry had an obsession towards Jane and Jane had an insecurity towards Harry's extra caring nature and more than friendship feeling and she never wanted to loose him as a friend. These emotions were the driving force behind their activities.

After hearing this much from him, I assumed that the confusions in their minds might be the main problem in their relationship and it could be resolved soon by having an open talk. But as his story progressed, I found that my assumptions were wrong and I can do nothing.

To be contd......